Pain is not always needed..

‘Sir, please hurt me’

That was the first time those words ever left my lips, I had been cheeky enough to ask Sir to scene with me on more than a few occasions but never to ‘hurt me’.  I needed to feel something…..anything!  After my mum passed away a month ago I had not felt much, I welcomed his flogger, cane or knife just so I could feel the emotions that came along with each stroke.

‘Hurt me’, such powerful words!  Sir held me whilst I asked him, his arms tightened around me.  He is my safety net, my blanket, my rock…… my best friend, my husband and my Sir, I trusted him to give me what I needed and right now it was pain.  If I can feel the pain that he gives me it means I’m not emotionally dead….. it means I can still feel.

I lay in his arms as we watched tv, I couldn’t help but anticipate the scene he would set up.  I could already feel my body tingle as it waited for his whip to kiss my back, his clamps on my nipples making them spark with the pain that I yearned.  I wanted my bottom to burn, his hand to wrap around my throat as he used his knife on my breasts…… my mind was working overtime.  I needed him, I needed his pain.

‘Come on, let’s go to bed’ his words hurt.  If we went to bed that meant no scene my skin wouldn’t burn, my nipples wouldn’t throb and I wouldn’t feel his hands on me……I would be cold hearted, with no feeling…no emotion.  I put on my brave face and kissed him then followed him upstairs.

I got into bed and watched him as he took off his clothes, I really do love watching him undress… seeing the way his gorgeous body looks as the light shines off his beautiful skin, the way his muscles move as he takes off his t-shirt and of course when his jeans come off and reveal ..well you know the rest.

He slid into bed next to me and gripped my throat, his hand added more pressure as he kissed me passionately.  Instantly I felt guilt, he had to be up early and I was selfish enough to ask him to hurt me. ‘ Sir, you don’t need to…’ his hand cut me off mid-sentence, he grabbed my hand and led it down to his hard cock ‘amethyst, if I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be hard..this is what you do to me’.

His lips came down hard on mine, his hand back firmly around my neck.  He left my lips and traced his tongue around my nipple, a gentle caress which brought my nipple to life.  I relaxed back and began to enjoy the sensations he was giving me.  That was until his teeth connected with the tip and my whole body burst into beautiful flames, his teeth felt amazing! Every time he took my nipples into his mouth, clamped them with his teeth and sucked hard my back arched, I tried to wrap my legs around him to pull him closer but he had me pinned to the bed, I couldn’t move…all I could do was lay back and enjoy.

Sir proceeded to bite me, to kiss and tease those tender spots with his tongue, I was in subbie  heaven.  When his mouth made its way in between my legs my moans became louder, he put his hand over my mouth and nose, controlling my breathing as he kissed, licked and bit me.  As I began to shudder his mouth became merciless, his hand pinned my lips closed as his body pressed mine into the bed.  I came…… hard!  My mind exploded into a thousand little pieces as my body shattered around his, he didn’t stop until every last wave left my body.  I opened my eyes to see him smiling down at me, he looked so damn sexy between my legs!

With one amazing thrust we were entwined to perfection, he brought his lips to mine and kissed me so passionately it blew my mind.  When he pulled away I heard him whisper something but couldn’t make it out due to my head swirling, he stopped thrusting and leaned in closer to me.

‘ I love you’ the words had barely left his lips before they met mine again, right in that moment I felt so cherished…. So loved.

Before I could react he turned me on to my tummy, my tender nipples burnt as they got pressed into the bed.   He closed my legs and trapped them with his as he thrust hard and fast, the time for slow sex had finished…it was time for his inner beast to come forward and fuck the life out of his submissive.

His teeth came down hard on my neck, I gasped… pain filled my senses as I grabbed the bed for support, again and again he bit my back and my neck.  The more he bit me the louder my moans became, he put his hand over my mouth as his teeth connected with my tender skin….hard, my scream was muffled beneath his hand.  I felt his arm wrap around my neck as his thrusts became deeper and faster… he fucked me until my mind became a blanket of pleasure, I was surrounded by him….. he was inside my body and my mind.. he brought me away from reality and drove me into subspace.

I am not writing this as an erotica as words could not do this experience justice, I am writing it as a lesson learned.  I never understood the phrase ‘ a Dom will give you what you need, not what you want’ until now.  I thought I needed his whip, his floggers and his cane, I thought I needed to feel so much pain, feel the welts and look at the bruises but I didn’t.  When I asked Sir why he hadn’t given me what I asked for he simply said

‘You said you needed to feel pain, I knew you needed to feel loved and special so that’s exactly what I gave you’.

How right he was.

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